Let’s Share The Story Of Our Lives!

A row has broken out in the central state of Madhya Pradesh after some 151 girls were ordered to take the tests.

The results showed 15 girls were pregnant.

These brides were then excluded from a mass ceremony in Shahdol.

Chief minister Shivraj Singh Chauhan denied they had carried out “virginity tests” and said the girls had simply undergone “procedural medical examinations”.

However, his argument has not convinced the state opposition or women’s rights groups, who have expressed outrage.

Witnesses said the women had to queue up before undergoing an extensive physical examination by a female doctor.

One of the brides, who did not want to be identified, said: “At first I refused to go through with the test, but an officer told me I would not be allowed inside the marriage hall unless the doctor declared me eligible.

“The only way I could be eligible was by taking test …The doctor manually examined me.”

Mass weddings paid for by the state are part of a welfare scheme started in 2006.

And in the last three years, 88,460 such marriages have been conducted in Madhya Pradesh.

Under the scheme, unmarried, widowed, divorced or abandoned women from poor families who have found a prospective spouse are married in groups and paid the equivalent of £84.

However, poverty and in some cases greed has led some already-married couples to pretend to take part and collect the money.

• What exactly is the reason behind most men giving preference to a virgin while dating or getting married? (Here I will refer to the majority of men out there.)
• How important is to know whether the girl is a virgin?
• What difference it’s going to make in their future relationship?
• Will it make any difference in the perspective of men on how they would perceive women?
• Why we have never heard of men going through the same medical examination?

Research suggests that most men won’t go for someone who had the same kind of sexual life.
They consider marriage as a pure institution and relate virginity as something they regard as “pure”.
Moreover, men usually have the desire to be dominating in bed. So marrying a virgin will give them a high?
And if a woman is a virgin she won’t be comparing her man with anybody else.. as she has never encountered any sexual experience in her life? This way there will be no competition or comparison for a man with other men.. jeez at least for some period;)

One of the most interesting question that pops up in my mind is – If a medical examination will be a must for “We the women” then how many of us will go through the test. No matter what will be the reasoning behind refusing the virginity test… I am sure 95% women will find it insulting and will not go ahead with it

· I remember a discussion with one of my friend on how beautiful girls and average looking girls think differently and how men perceive them. He said that average looking girls don’t flirt around much because they know that they are just average looking and if they flirt around then that can hamper their reputation. On the other hand, beautiful girls are more in demand and even if they flirt around still they will get loads of proposals at their doorstep.

· Secondly, average looking girls are easy to approach and have no hang ups. On the contrary, beautiful girls are surrounded by many offers after all beauty rules. Thirdly, average looking girls are less demanding and are willing to compromise. They are satisfied with what they have, unlike beautiful girls who crave for more materialistic things and never compromise with anything.

· Average girls are more caring not like beautiful girls who are self obsessed with their looks and makeup. And in the end he said most of all average girls are more committed to the relationship than beautiful girls. Therefore, men feel more secured with average looking girls because beautiful girls are surrounded by more offers all the time.

· My reaction to my friend :- First and the foremost thing is that it’s ridiculous to categorize beautiful girls Vs Average Looking Girls . Every girl is beautiful in her own way. There is no point in differentiating between "so called" Average Looking Girls and Beautiful Girls. But still I would like to share my response to my friend who raised this conversation.  Firstly, What girls think and how they think has nothing to do with their outer beauty. Every girl has different opinions, thoughts, values, dreams, wants and desires. It has nothing to do with their personality.

· Both average looking girls and beautiful girls look for a loving partner who is loyal, caring and responsible towards his family. If any girl chooses to flirt around and have a time pass affair then it’s entirely because of the kind of choice, outlook she has towards life and relationships. You can’t judge anyone just based on what kind of choices they make in life.

· And as far as commitments and compromises are concerned, again it depends on your perspective towards life. If a girl is in love with some guy then all the 3 C’s will come naturally. (Compromises, Commitments, Care ). You can win any girls heart and be with her for rest of your life only if your love is unconditional. Therefore, it’s absurd to think that men feel more secured with average looking girls than beautiful girls.

· I want to share one more incident. There is one uncle who once was talking to my brother about this wedding he attended. He was like the wedding was organized beautifully and the girl’s family spend a lot of money in organizing the event. Then after a while he went to the extent of saying – No matter how much they spend and have entertained their guests in the most lavish way BUT BUT The girl was not beautiful at all. The minute he said that I raised my eyebrows and said that it’s completely presumptuous to have an opinion like that. What difference it’s going to make whether the girl is average looking or beautiful.

· He questioned me “for you what matters?” I said all that matters is the nature of the girl. He smiled sarcastically and said “I know they had to spend a lot on the wedding because their daughter was not beautiful” I was disgusted with his statement and said I guess for you marriage is just a business deal. You will choose a proposal based on how much money you can make. I gave him a sickened expression and just walked away. I guess in today’s time men don’t just run for beauty. May be its different when it’s just for time pass affair or dating then it’s a different case. But when it comes to a long term commitment then men need more than just beauty. Irrespective of what I have written above still you will find thousands of marriage proposals stating " Extremely Beautiful, Fair, Slim, Working and Rich Girl Wanted! Am I Right? All I can say that those men who think like this don’t deserve to be your partner. And those men who blame their family that they will find a proposal for them – then they are not capable of taking a stand of their own. So how can any girl entrust her whole life to this kind of man?

Hubby Wishing you a very happy birthday.

• We have been together for so many years and have celebrated many memorable occasions together. When I look back and see the most romantic and cherished moments it was all because of you. You always say that I don’t express my love in words. With time I have noticed that I do feel shy in opening up my heart to you. I remember the first love letter you had written to me when I went to Bangkok.

I really don’t know how to write a love letter!! Frankly speaking I’m bit reluctant to write all this because I’m not sure if I will get it right or not.. As it’s your birthday so I want everything to be just perfect.

I will start by expressing the one thing that I cherish the most with you is curling up with you on the bed before sleeping, feeling the warmth of your skin by resting my head on your shoulder and you kissing me on my head and lips! Every morning after waking up the way you hold me tightly and we pulling up the blanket over our head and whispering things to each other. Our toes tenderly touching each others toes underneath the blanket! It’s so fulfilling and amazing that how we have been doing this every day for years and still do it – still need it badly.

Walking down the street wrapping my hands around your hands – feeling the breeze fiddling with my hair- Ah I absolutely love it. Does that sound like typically Yash Chopra’s romantic movies scripts!!

• I still feel your first kiss when we were coming from Etopia ( though I always complain that how dare you kiss me when I was sleeping!!! but without any doubt that was the most cherished kiss of my entire life) You always express your love openly but I have always struggled to do that. It’s been years and years of knowing each other and even now our relationship feels so fresh, as if we are still dating! I think the real romance starts after getting married when you actually get to spend quality time together.

• Every morning – Every night you make me feel loved with your touch and warmth. Just your way of holding my face and looking into my eyes says it all. It makes me feel blessed when every friend of mine tells me how lucky I am to have you in my life as my soul mate. Once when I was in college my friend told me after 2 years of any marriage the romance goes away. I actually believed her because I had seen many couples totally occupied in their careers and setting financial goals that they tend to drift apart slowly. But with you it’s been years and years – with time we have become One. You know how hard it gets to even sleep without you, forget about staying away from you.

• We have been by each others side in all the rough situations all through the time. You remember the first romantic song that you sung to me – Jab koi baat bigad jaye Jab koi mushkil pad jaye Tum dena sath mera o humnavawaz. It’s so fulfilling to see how both of us have supported each other at times when we needed each other the most. The real test of any relationship comes when you see someone you loved the most by your side. It’s so gratifying how both of us value the commitment towards our relationship.

• We all know relationships are not easy it requires a lot of sacrifices, compromises, care and time. Every thing falls on its place when you have someone who loves you. This time when I was alone for few days without you in India I missed you the most. I miss Little Little moments about living with you.

• Your presence around me in the house, when I cook you hugging me from the back, opening the door for you every evening and giving you a kiss, making coffe for you, going out for movies together, deciding on which restaurant to go, talking about politics, sports!!, watching Chelsea play at our favorite place, you making me sit on your lap like your baby and swinging me around, you quizzing me about music.

• You making your top 10 favorite band every month and signing it to make a record, lounging around and having a cup of coffe and talking about life in general, playing loud music in the car and singing together and how can I forget our crazy way of screaming competition, it’s so sweet how we dance daily for few minutes ( this time when I was in India I replaced you with gunna) Remember the way you roll me around and then make me bend … gunna literally enjoyed that style of dancing.

• It feels nice to be with you all the time. Wherever you go you make sure that I am with you. I have seen so many guys going out alone leaving their wives or girl friends alone but you are so unlike them. I always tell mummy that how my life changed for good after meeting you. Before knowing you I didn’t know jack about jack! You taught me so many things that brought confidence in me. The kind of respect you give it to me in front of your friends, clients, family and colleagues is so gratifying.
• Do you have a magic stick!! How you win everyone’s heart? Whether it’s my friends, my relatives or a complete stranger on the road you just gel with anyone. I just can’t seem to get this art of yours! It’s so amazing how easily you can bring a smile on anybody’s face within minutes. Teach me !!!!!! Some people say that when you love someone you don’t change the other person. But I completely disagree with it.

• When you love someone special you are willing to change anything to bring a smile on your love’s face. I am glad we respect each other’s individuality and at the same time we go out of way to make each other feel special in every possible way.

• Thanks for every effort you make to bring a smile on my face.
• Thanks for all the crazy things you do to make me laugh.
• Thanks for doing so much hard work to make our future secured.
• Thanks for all the love you have for my parents that they feel proud to have you as their son.
• Thanks for playing with gunna as you know what she means to me.
• Thanks for caressing me every night like a little child and making me go to sleep.
• Thanks for every day you say how much you love me .
• Thanks for all the little little lovely surprises you give me all the time even after all these years.
• Thanks for respecting me and my individuality and giving me enough freedom to do whatever I want.
• Thanks for cooking delicious food, you are a great chef!!!!!
• Thanks for all those hugs and kisses you do all the time.
• Thanks for learning badminton for me and beating all those people who were overconfident.
• Thanks for being protective towards me at every step.
• And thanks for letting me beat all those guys who tease girls!!!!!
• Thanks for understanding and appreciating how strongly I feel about helping needy people.
• Thanks for going to Vaishnodevi barefooted so many times and staying awake and watching over me so that I could sleep.
• Thanks for reading my blog and posting your comments.
• Thanks for putting your hand on my head whenever you pray. It makes me feel loved and cared.
• Thanks for always being committed to our love when things were tough.
• Thanks for your faith and loyalty towards our love to make the relationship stronger by each passing day.

The only complain I have with you is why didn’t you meet me long time back. We have missed so many years from our lives.