Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner: Resolve Differences

Dated: 23 Oct 2008
Posted by Pooja.Brahmi
Category: Relationships
1 Comment

\'Honeymoon couples\'

Relationships are not easy; it requires a lot of hard work. The most important key to have a healthy relationship is to know the ways to have a healthy communication. Needless to say, every marriage goes through differences and fights. Therefore, it becomes vital to understand that how can you strengthen your marriage with love, care and patience.

  • Many marriages go through tough times because of lack of effective communication. Irrespective of the fact, for how many years you have been married still every couple goes through arguments.
  • The only factor that can be helpful to resolve the conflicts in a marriage is to be a good listener and be understanding about your partner’s concerns.
  • First and the foremost is “Respect” for your partner should be maintained. Therefore, under no circumstances you should use Filthy or Abusive Terms. (Yeah you can use any abusive term if you catch your hubby making out with some other woman ;)
  • Let your partner express her/his concerns about the things which has been bothering him/her. Therefore, don’t interrupt in between when your partner is articulating.

Couple in love

  • Mostly, couples don’t let each other finish the conversation and swoop in between to defend themselves.
  • In order to make your partner feel cared you need to be patient and make your partner express her/his thoughts without any restraint.
  • Once your partner finishes, ask him/her that is there anything else you want to share? If the answer is ‘No" then move forward to express your views about the whole issue.
  • Don’t hesitate to bring humor to an argument. Sometimes, it really works. Ask your partner what things hurt him/her. Usually couples blame their partners for getting hurt on trivial things. Always remember, it’s a human nature to get hurt.
  • If your partner behaves differently – Ask him/her that “ Is something bothering you” This will not only make her/him feel wanted but will also makes her/him feel comfortable of opening up about certain things that are bothering him/her recently.

couple on a beach

  • Don’t name the process of opening up as ‘Cribbing’ or ‘Complaining”. Usually couple makes this mistake of dismissing their couple by being ignorant to the whole situation. This can be quite disheartening for your partner and can also make her/him feel neglected.
  • Always be willing to change, any change that makes your partner happy is welcoming. But, don’t expect drastic or unreasonable changes. While arguing, do appreciate your partner. Don’t just focus on negative attributes.
  • Look into the eyes of your partner while communicating. Make your partner feel that you are paying attention to her/his concerns.Simple gestures like holding hands, caressing the back, hair can make your partner feel cared.
  • Most couples say “ I don’t like this” “I want this” In today’s demanding world where you have demanding jobs where you don’t leave any stone unturned to impress your boss and put your best effort at your workplace. But not many couples are willing to put even 30% of the same in their personal lives. The only reason is that some couple takes their partners for “granted”

lovely hug

  • Before you and your partner drift apart emotionally, try to practice introspection.
  • Watch your words and actions. Never ever bring the past back issues while arguing. It can result into bitterness and can cause resentment.
  • Therefore, don’t blurt out things which you will repent it later. When you feel dishearten and hurt, then the philosophy which usually couples espouse - is to make the other partner feel equally miserable. If you do the same then STOP IT NOW! It’s totally wrong!!!
  • Don’t do “name calling” in a sarcastic way. I guess you guys know what I’m talking about here!
  • The utmost important aspect of being "Happy" in a relationship is to put yourself at your partners place and then understand the concerns of your partner. Every couple is to realize that marriage is like an association. Every couple mostly has the same dreams and goals to achieve, then why not strengthen the "Bond" of your marriage .
  • Hence, it involves the support and participation of both the partners to make each other feel at ease, loved and cared. Needless to say, every couple dreams of having a healthy and affectionate marriage.

couple in love

  • Of course saying “I Love You” is important but more than words sometimes you require it to show with your actions, gestures and how you make your partner feel about having you in the relationship.
  • But, if the differences are not resolved with the right approach then it can lead to break-up, Extra- marital affairs or inclination towards any other person, Depression and can even lead to suicidal attempts. Before it gets too late, understand your partner and make each other feel loved.

Effective communication can do wonders for any relationship. There is no one way to keep your marriage affectionate, harmonious and loving. With time every relationship grow – just relax it’s natural to have disagreements and misunderstandings.

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Learn how Self therapy can rejuvenate your subdued spirit

Dated: 1 Aug 2008
Posted by Pooja.Brahmi
Category: self growth
1 Comment

Learn how Self therapy can rejuvenate your subdued spirit

Spend few days writing about your self. Self therapy can do wonders in enhancing your inner beauty. You need to set a direction for yourself that will help you in achieving your goals. Success is not a gift that just falls in your lap; it requires a great deal of effort to lead a blissful life. Examine how your actions make you happy or miserable. Each individual wants to enjoy life but sometimes they just don’t make the right choices.

Everything that you want to attain in your life needs an action plan and when you attain your goals you feel a sense of achievement that makes you feel blissful. Many people are unhappy because of the disappointments in their life. Stop cursing yourself for not being good enough. Try not to cry over your failures in life. Let’s share your emotions and try to find a way by which you can lead a contended life without any regrets.

Don’t invade in others privacy

It’s a natural human tendency to be curious about things that they don’t know, especially when it’s about others. There is a simple reason why people are investigative about other peoples’ business - either they want to judge them or criticize them. Obviously this kind of attitude isn’t well received and can be very annoying for the other person.

Forgive and embrace

The most important thing in our life is the peace of mind. It’s the most essential factor to lead a blissful life. We do experience setbacks, sometimes it’s caused by our loved ones, and especially the ones we trusted and loved. As a result, we trouble ourselves physically as well as mentally. Research shows that those people who cultivate ill feelings are indirectly troubling themselves.

Its a human tendency, we tend to get hurt and develop anger against someone who has deeply affronted you. Indeed forgiveness is the most difficult thing, but amazingly, it does wonders for your mental and physical health. Though it’s not easy to forgive, but always remember only strong people can nurture a forgiving character. Once you inculcate a forbearing nature, you will notice a drastic change in yourself. You will feel relived and more relaxed than ever before.

Self respect towards your achievements in your life

We often forget to praise our self and just crave for others to appreciate us. As a result, most of the time we end up feeling dishearten. In our day to day life sometimes we feel disappointed when you don’t get recognition for the effort you put in. We feel discouraged when our boss doesn’t acknowledge our hard work, your partner doesn’t admire, leaving you depressed and upset.

Take some time to praise yourself, assure yourself that you are putting your best effort and it won’t go waste. If you face criticism, then take it in the right spirit. Sometimes criticism can actually help you perform better but other times it can even discourage you. There are all kinds of people in this world; some people will only criticize you no matter how competitive you are. All you have to do is to sideline those kinds of people and move on with life.

Jealousy can perturb your peace of mind

Jealous people end up nowhere! Let’s just admit that all of us have experienced jealousy in our lives. In certain situations we may even end up asking that why we are jealous?
It’s a fact that jealousy will inculcate negative feeling in you. Learn how to be self motivated and always strive towards your goals instead of wasting your energy on something  that is not giving you any positive result.

Exploit your strengths

Nobody is perfect in this world; we do have our share of weaknesses and strengths. It depends upon on us that how we all mould ourselves to achieve something in our lives. You are capable of shaping your future by working towards your goal with great sincerity and honesty.

Meditation

Meditation gives you an utmost sense of peace. Try to experience how meditation can instill positive thoughts and immense energy in your body and mind. Every morning you can make a routine to meditate; soon you will notice a powerful change in yourself. It will make you more efficient in your day to day life. Spend few minutes in cultivating the spirituality aspect of your life.

Mould yourself according to any given situation

As the saying goes “Change is a Constant factor”

Hence always upgrade your skills according to the requirement. Don’t just sit back and complain about the change. After all it’s all about survival of the fittest. If you don’t change then you will end up being a laggard. Learn different things in your life. It will enable you to develop a sense of confidence. Soon you will notice a change in others attitude towards you.

Don’t cry over your past mistakes

Stop wasting your time in cursing yourself for all the wrong decisions you have made in the past. If you regret about your past actions all the time then you are even wasting your present. Excel in life, set a challenging goal for yourself and promise yourself that this time you are not going to let yourself down.

Empty mind can eat you up!

Keep yourself occupied in any kind of activities of your taste. Engage yourself in learning something that will give you a sense of accomplishment. Make a habit of doing something worthwhile that helps you grow as a person. You can select any of your favorite hobbies and actively pursue it with great interest.

Your attitude can make you or break you

Your attitude towards life determines whether you are capable of moving ahead in life or just prefer to be left behind. A positive outlook towards life will surely take you a long way in accomplishing your goals

Be kind to everyone

Sometimes we end up developing enmity towards certain people who have not treated us right. So in retaliation we tend to be rude with them. Most people follow the policy of “tit for tat”. But once we change our attitude and remove the feeling of revenge, we can actually win over all those people who have been discourteous with us.

Try to be independent

If you think that you can do something on your own try to do it. Don’t be dependent on someone for small things and if you can do something now “just do it” instead of delaying it for some other time.

Intimacy with your loved ones is a must

Your family or friends act as a support. It’s essential to spend some quality time with your loved ones with whom you share your fears, sorrows, and happiness. In today’s chaotic life many people take their family for granted. Always remember that the bond between you and your family needs to be nurtured all the time. The relationship between you and your family requires special attention.

Maintain your relationship by being there with your loved ones at their time of need. Helping them will give you a feeling of deep emotional satisfaction. Needless to say, family is the most essential part of your existence; it prevents you from living in isolation. Let’s commit to ourselves that we will never take our loved ones for granted. As we all know that the blessing of our loved ones matters a lot!

For living your life king size enjoy every moment of it. Be optimistic in any kind of circumstances. Eat healthy, laugh a  lot and do regular exercise.

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