Why Do We Sometimes Hate Ourselves?

Dated: 9 Oct 2008
Posted by Pooja.Brahmi
Category: self growth
9 Comments

Loneliness is killing me from within

I am sure that this “topic” will sound “bizarre” to some of the readers. Personally speaking “Psychology” is one of my favorite areas of interest. The title is directly connected to:-

  1. Depression
  2. Loneliness
  3. Stress
  4. Anger
  5. Alcoholic
  6. Chain Smoker
  7. Drug Addiction
  8. And many more emotional setbacks.

Mostly, those people who don’t admire themselves tend to have various emotional problems. Some of the main reasons of an individual “hating themselves” are:-

  1. Being let down by the society
  2. Injustice
  3. Criticism
  4. Lack of Emotional Attachment
  5. Domestic Violence
  6. Childhood Abuse
  7. Sexual Abuse
  8. Lack of self esteem
  9. Neglected by the society
  10. Rejection

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  • In order to lead a blissful life, it’s very important to have self – love. You can’t gain the love of others if you lack self love. First you need to be at peace with yourself then only you can gain peace with others.
  • Needless to say, introspection is the answer to all your questions. It will allow you to help yourself by allowing you to overcome all the negative emotions which you have build against yourself.
  • Write down all the memories, decisions, individuals and incidents that make you feel inferior of yourself.
  • Don’t doubt your true ability to be a strong person and assemble all the strong attributes of your personality.
  • Don’t set unrealistic standards for yourself. If you think you have made certain wrong decisions in life then try to self – empathize. Nobody is perfect! Even the most influential people on this earth have made mistakes in life.

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  • Don’t let your past bad decisions hinder your future growth. Accept all your mistakes and learn a lesson from every mistake you commit.
  • There are many people who have suffered from some kind of abuse in their lives. Indeed it’s tormenting to go through an emotional abuse.
  • If you think you should have apposed the oppressor in the past then its better late than never. Never endure ay kind of abuse no matter in which form it is targeted on you.
  • Have you missed any opportunities in the past and didn’t give your best effort? I am sure it hurts and sometimes we do curse ourselves for not utilizing an opportunity in the best possible way.
  • I have noticed many people discussing about their past regrets and blaming themselves. This way they become a victim of depression but they are also obliterating their present and the future.
  • Many times I have seen people blaming their cultural or family background for not being successful in their lives. I know the family values and guidance counts a lot in shaping an individual. But after a while it’s our actions and decisions that can either “make us” or “break us”.
  • Therefore, it’s alright if you have not received the required assistance in the past. You can now be “self-motivated” and excel in your life. It’s quite fulfilling to be “On Your Own”

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Know the Right Key to Tackle Anger

Dated: 7 Oct 2008
Posted by Pooja.Brahmi
Category: self growth
4 Comments

Sometimes it becomes hard to tackle “Anger” in a veracious way. I perceive anger as energy that goes through our body system and needs to be taken out. But the very question is that what’s the right way to do this?

What is “Anger” ? and how can it be tackled in a healthy way?

  • I am sure that there are millions of people who are victims of Depression. Sometimes it becomes hard to tackle “Anger” in a veracious way. I perceive anger as energy that goes through our body system and needs to be taken out. But the very question is that what’s the right way to do this?
  • There are certain things which our natural body system does but if those things are evinced in public then it can create disgust! I consider Anger as any other natural function like breathing. Therefore, in order to know the inns and out’s of Anger Management first you need to have a conversation with yourself.
  • Here I am going to talk about on how to treat “Anger” It needs to be released in a safe way without involving any other person. Most of the time what we do is to take out our frustration on our loved ones, or blame someone without any particular reason.

  • Why we take our frustration on our loved ones? Even after knowing that they are not the reason of you being angry. When you are walking down the road and you are angry will you take out your anger on a stranger? The answer will be No. You know that you have to deal with it on your own.
  • It’s advisable to talk it out with your loved ones about the reasons that why you are angry. Never swallow your emotions just find safe ways to take out Anger. Problem arises when you hold it back for a long period of time.
  • Usually we don’t realize it that why you are angry but in your unconscious state of mind you are building it up inside you. Put your attention in acknowledging the emotions you are going through.
  • What I believe is that you are responsible for your own actions and emotions. So in order to practice self observation you need to be self aware of yourself. Meditation can help you in dissipating any disturbed feelings which are disturbing your state of mind.
  • Hence, it’s necessary to be aware of your inner self that what we are going through, getting in touch with your emotions is the key in dealing with anger. Anger is neither good nor bad. It’s just like any other activity which your body performs.

**My article was posted on www.ezinearticles.com** - ( Here )

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Never Deprive Yourself For What You Are Capable Of Achieving In Life

Dated: 25 Sep 2008
Posted by Pooja.Brahmi
Category: self growth
1 Comment

The most important factor for an individual’s well being is to gain peace. In order to do that you need to practice introspection.

  • Once you gain respect for yourself then you start creating self love. Needless to say, you will discover various phases in your life which you wish you could forget or eliminate from your memory. But you find it hard to brush off certain phases of your life which you tend to detest.
  • It could be anything – you mistreating your spouse or children, not giving your best in your academics, not working hard enough in the past, being a victim of sexual abuse or domestic violence or any possible act which you despise.
  • It’s easy to sit back and trap your mind with all those moments which haunts you. Due to this millions of people become a victim of depression and have lack of self confident and it may lead to  other health related problems. As a result you loose focus in your life and possibly it will result in another disgraceful phase of your life, which will hinder your self growth.
  • It’s quite simple to see successful people around and give a round of applause for their achievements. Always remember one rule of your life – If you want to achieve your goals then you need to be TOUGH. Stop wasting your time in doing useless things which won’t take you towards your goals. Learn the art of time management.
  • Tell yourself that no matter what kind of failures I have experienced in my life. There is always another chance to bounce back and be back in the race of life. Bestow yourself with self motivation and confidence.
  • Your negative emotions will curb your confidence but if you challenge yourself to deal with negative emotions then sooner or later you will win over all your fears, anguish, and depressive state of mind.
  • I am writing this article based on my life. There were times when I used to treat myself “Worthless”. It had taken me some time to win over my fears, disappointments and regrets of my life. Certainly, it’s not that easy as it sounds. But life is more interesting when you challenge yourself.
  • Firstly, dedicate your life towards creating your own identity. The only cure of Depression is to transform your life for the betterment of your self being. Never consider your life to be hopeless. Your life is in your hands, either you can excel in life or you can live in isolation. So what have you decided?


Do share your opinions about how you treat your life.

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Learn How Self Therapy Can Rejuvenate Your Subdued Spirit

Dated: 1 Aug 2008
Posted by Pooja.Brahmi
Category: Relationships, Social Cause, self growth
1 Comment

Learn how Self therapy can rejuvenate your subdued spirit

Self improvement is a journey to find a new “You”, do lot of soul searching. Before you look around for help read some self help books or self help quotes.  Spend few days writing about your self. Self therapy can do wonders in enhancing your inner beauty. You need to set a direction for yourself that will help you in achieving your goals. Success is not a gift that just falls in your lap; it requires a great deal of effort to lead a blissful life. Examine how your actions make you happy or miserable. Each individual wants to enjoy life but sometimes they just don’t make the right choices.

Everything that you want to attain in your life needs an action plan and once attain your goals you feel a sense of achievement. Mostly people are unhappy because of the disappointments or regrets in their lives. Stop cursing yourself for not being good enough. Try not to cry over your failures in life. Let’s share your emotions and try to find a way by which you can lead a contended life without any regrets.

Don’t invade in others privacy

It’s a natural human tendency to be inquisitive about things that they don’t know, especially when it’s about others. There is a simple reason why people are investigative about other peoples’ business - either they want to be a critique. Obviously this kind of outlook isn’t well received and can be very annoying for the other person.

Forgive and embrace

The most important aspect of our lives is to have a peace of mind. It’s a part of life to experience setbacks, sometimes it’s caused by our loved ones, and especially the ones we trust and love. As a result, the feeling of resentment force us to disconnect with those people who have caused that emotional hurt. Research shows that those people who cultivate ill feelings are indirectly troubling themselves.

Its a human tendency, we tend to get hurt and develop anger against someone who has deeply affronted them. Indeed forgiveness is the most difficult thing, but amazingly, it does wonders for your peace of mind. Though it’s not easy to forgive, but always remember only strong people can nurture a forgiving character. Once you inculcate a forbearing nature, you will notice a drastic change in yourself. You will feel relived and more relaxed than ever before.

Self respect towards the achievements in your life

We often forget to praise ourselves and just crave for others to appreciate us. As a result, most of the time we end up feeling dishearten. In our day to day life sometimes we feel disappointed when we don’t get recognition for the effort we put in. We feel discouraged when our boss doesn’t acknowledge our hard work or when our partner don’t admire, leaving you depressed and upset.

Take some time to praise yourself, assure yourself that you are putting your best effort and it won’t go wasted. If you face criticism, then take it with the right spirit. Sometimes criticism can actually help you perform better but other times it can even discourage you. There are all kinds of people in this world; no matter how good you are, some people will only pass harsh judgments against you.  All you have to do is to sideline those kinds of people and move on with life. “No man can justly censure or condemn another, because indeed no man truly knows another” (Thomas Browne).

Jealousy can perturb your peace of mind

Jealous personality end up nowhere! Let’s just admit that all of us have experienced jealousy towards someone. In certain situations we may even end up asking that why we are envious?
It’s a fact that jealousy will inculcate negative feelings in you. Learn how to be self motivated and always strive towards your goals

Exploit your strengths

Nobody is perfect in this world; we do have our share of weaknesses and strengths. It depends upon us that how we all mold ourselves to achieve success in our lives. You are capable of shaping your future by working hard towards your goals with sincerity and honesty.

Meditation

Meditation gives you an utmost sense of peace. Try to experience how meditation can instill positive thoughts and immense energy in your body and mind. Every morning you can make a routine to meditate; soon you will notice a positive change in yourself. It will make you more efficient in your day to day life. Spend few minutes in cultivating the spirituality aspect of your life.

As the saying goes “Change is a Constant factor”

Always mold yourself according to the situation. Don’t just sit back and complain about the change. After all it’s all about survival of the fittest. If you don’t change then you will end up being a laggard. Learn different things in your life. It will enable you to develop a sense of confidence at your work place. After all a good change is always welcome.

Don’t cry over your past mistakes

Stop wasting your time in cursing yourself for all the wrong decisions you had made in the past. If you regret about your past actions all the time then you are even wasting your present. Excel in life, set a challenging goal for yourself and promise yourself that this time you are not going to let yourself down.

Empty mind can eat you up!

Keep yourself occupied with any kind of activities of your taste. Engage yourself in learning something that will give you a sense of accomplishment. Make a habit of doing something worthwhile that helps you grow as a person. You can follow any of your favorite hobbies and actively pursue it with great interest.

Your attitude can make you or break you

Your attitude towards life determines whether you are capable of moving ahead in life or just prefer to be left behind. A positive outlook towards life will surely take you a long way in accomplishing your goals and even will help you to inspire others.

Be kind to everyone

Sometimes we end up developing enmity towards some people who have not treated us right. So in retaliation we tend to get rude with them. Most people follow the policy of “tit for tat”, equivalent retaliation will take you nowhere!. But once we change our attitude and remove the feeling of revenge, we can actually win over all those people who have been discourteous with us.

Try to be independent

If you think that you can do something on your own try to do it. Don’t be dependent on someone for small things and if you can do something now “just do it” instead of delaying it for some other time.

Intimacy with your loved ones is a must

Your family or friends act as a support. It’s essential to spend some quality time with your loved ones with whom you share your fears, sorrows, and happiness. In today’s chaotic life many people take their family for granted. Always remember that the bond between you and your family needs to be nurtured all the time. The relationship between you and your family requires special attention.

Maintain your relationship by being there with your loved ones at their time of need. Helping them will give you a feeling of deep emotional satisfaction. Needless to say, family is the most essential part of your existence; it prevents you from living in isolation. Let’s commit to ourselves that we will never take our loved ones for granted. As we all know that the blessing of our loved ones matters a lot!

For living your life king size enjoy every moment of it, try to find happiness in small things. Be optimistic in any kind of circumstances. Eat healthyEnjoy a good laugh and do a regular exercise to have a healthy body and mind.


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