Heal YourSelf From Your Depressing Past

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Digg!

heal yourself

Have you ever wondered how similar our journey of life is in certain ways?

  • All of us have experienced Hurt in relationships , still life moves on leaving behind the feeling of bitterness , hurt and resentment. Later we end up labeling it a failed relationship . Not many people come in terms with the hurt of the past relationship and that may result in depression. In other cases it can cause fear in your mind of not trusting anyone. Either you feel incapable of maintaining a relationship or you are too scared to get hurt all over again.
  • One thing on which all of us would agree is that relationships help us grow in life, no matter you had a failed relationship or have a very fulfilling relationship. Thus, would it be right to label relationships as failed or successful? In my opinion it’s important to first come in terms with your past relationship hurt. In most of the cases we move on with life but find it hard to forgive or forget. Majority of us struggle hard to forgive, and if you have not forgiven someone then it’s impossible to forget the hurt of your past relationship.
  • Majority of us find it hard to forgive; indeed it’s not easy to inculcate a forgiving nature. I myself have struggled to forgive some people in my life who have deeply hurt me. Then I wonder may be forgetting those people will help me in eliminating those distressful memories. As a result it may help me curb my anger towards those people. But unfortunately I have not been successful in either forgetting or forgiving and as a result it’s severely affecting my peace of mind.

hurt of a breakup

  • After all it’s not easy to forget the hurt, some people say time is the biggest healer but I kind of disagree. Those people who are forgiving in nature are really blessed in life. I have read and watched many documentaries about forgiveness. But none of them have helped me in anyways.The only help that assists me is Self Help. I have gone through innumerable helpful quotes, verses, inspirational stories or biographies but again of no use. One mindset that helped me to pacify my hurt is to tell myself that relationships help us grow in life. As a result, with time I have become a stronger person, now the way I perceive life and relationships is totally different  than the way I used to 10 years ago. Still there is a lot to learn about life in general.
  • One can practice introspection of your past relationship that will help you in realizing the mistakes you committed. Every relationship (with your family, spouse, boy friend, girl friend, children and so on) helps you grow in life . If you look back in life and introspect – you will find a change in yourself in comparison to what you were in the past. All of us change with time and some of the main factors of the change in you are relationships. Therefore, if your past broken relationship helped you grow in certain aspects of your life then how can you label it a failed relationship?

The utmost important relationship in life is your relationship with yourself. Self Esteem, Self Awareness, Self Conciousness, Self Growth, Self Respect and Self Help are the most significant and essential facet of our lives.

Free Relationship Counseling (Problems In Relationships)

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'Honeymoon couples'

Relationships are not easy; it requires a lot of hard work. The most important key to have a healthy relationship is to know the ways to have a healthy communication. Needless to say, every marriage goes through differences and fights. Therefore, it becomes vital to understand that how can you strengthen your marriage with love, care and patience.

  • Many marriages go through tough times because of lack of effective communication. Irrespective of the fact, for how many years you have been married still every couple goes through arguments.
  • The only factor that can be helpful to resolve the conflicts in a marriage is to be a good listener and be understanding about your partner’s concerns.
  • First and the foremost is “Respect” for your partner should be maintained. Therefore, under no circumstances you should use Filthy or Abusive Terms. (Yeah you can use any abusive term if you catch your hubby making out with some other woman 😉
  • Let your partner express her/his concerns about the things which has been bothering him/her. Therefore, don’t interrupt in between when your partner is articulating.

Couple in love

  • Mostly, couples don’t let each other finish the conversation and swoop in between to defend themselves.
  • In order to make your partner feel cared you need to be patient and make your partner express her/his thoughts without any restraint.
  • Once your partner finishes, ask him/her that is there anything else you want to share? If the answer is ‘No” then move forward to express your views about the whole issue.
  • Don’t hesitate to bring humor to an argument. Sometimes, it really works. Ask your partner what things hurt him/her. Usually couples blame their partners for getting hurt on trivial things. Always remember, it’s a human nature to get hurt.
  • If your partner behaves differently – Ask him/her that “ Is something bothering you” This will not only make her/him feel wanted but will also makes her/him feel comfortable of opening up about certain things that are bothering him/her recently.

couple on a beach

  • Don’t name the process of opening up as ‘Cribbing’ or ‘Complaining”. Usually couple makes this mistake of dismissing their couple by being ignorant to the whole situation. This can be quite disheartening for your partner and can also make her/him feel neglected.
  • Always be willing to change, any change that makes your partner happy is welcoming. But, don’t expect drastic or unreasonable changes. While arguing, do appreciate your partner. Don’t just focus on negative attributes.
  • Look into the eyes of your partner while communicating. Make your partner feel that you are paying attention to her/his concerns.Simple gestures like holding hands, caressing the back, hair can make your partner feel cared.
  • Most couples say “ I don’t like this” “I want this” In today’s demanding world where you have demanding jobs where you don’t leave any stone unturned to impress your boss and put your best effort at your workplace. But not many couples are willing to put even 30% of the same in their personal lives. The only reason is that some couple takes their partners for “granted”

lovely hug

  • Before you and your partner drift apart emotionally, try to practice introspection.
  • Watch your words and actions. Never ever bring the past back issues while arguing. It can result into bitterness and can cause resentment.
  • Therefore, don’t blurt out things which you will repent it later. When you feel dishearten and hurt, then the philosophy which usually couples espouse – is to make the other partner feel equally miserable. If you do the same then STOP IT NOW! It’s totally wrong!!!
  • Don’t do “name calling” in a sarcastic way. I guess you guys know what I’m talking about here!
  • The utmost important aspect of being “Happy” in a relationship is to put yourself at your partners place and then understand the concerns of your partner. Every couple needs to realize that marriage is like an association. Every couple usually have the same dream and goals to achieve; i.e to have a peaceful environment and a comfortable lifestyle, then why not strengthen the “Bond” of your marriage .
  • Hence, it involves the support and participation of both the partners to make each other feel at ease, loved and cared. Needless to say, every couple would love to have a healthy and affectionate marriage.

couple in love

  • Of course saying “I Love You” is important but more than words sometimes you require it to show with your actions, gestures and how you make your partner feel about having you in the relationship.
  • But, if the differences are not resolved with the right approach then it can lead to break-up, Extra- marital affairs or inclination towards any other person, Depression and can even lead to suicidal attempts. Before it gets too late, understand your partner and make each other feel loved.

Effective communication can do wonders for any relationship. There is no one way to keep your marriage affectionate, harmonious and loving. With time every relationship grow – just relax it’s natural to have disagreements and misunderstandings.

Why Do We Sometimes Hate Ourselves?

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Loneliness is killing me from within

I am sure that this “topic” will sound “bizarre” to some of the readers. Personally speaking “Psychology” is one of my favorite areas of interest. The title is directly connected to:-

  1. Depression
  2. Loneliness
  3. Stress
  4. Anger
  5. Alcoholic
  6. Chain Smoker
  7. Drug Addiction
  8. And many more emotional setbacks.

Mostly, those people who don’t admire themselves tend to have various emotional problems. Some of the main reasons of an individual “hating themselves” are:-

  1. Being let down by the society
  2. Injustice
  3. Criticism
  4. Lack of Emotional Attachment
  5. Domestic Violence
  6. Childhood Abuse
  7. Sexual Abuse
  8. Lack of self esteem
  9. Neglected by the society
  10. Rejection

  • In order to lead a blissful life, it’s very important to have self – love. You can’t gain the love of others if you lack self love. First you need to be at peace with yourself then only you can gain peace with others.
  • Needless to say, introspection is the answer to all your questions. It will allow you to help yourself by allowing you to overcome all the negative emotions which you have build against yourself.
  • Write down all the memories, decisions, individuals and incidents that make you feel inferior of yourself.
  • Don’t doubt your true ability to be a strong person and assemble all the strong attributes of your personality.
  • Don’t set unrealistic standards for yourself. If you think you have made certain wrong decisions in life then try to self – empathize. Nobody is perfect! Even the most influential people on this earth have made mistakes in life.

  • Don’t let your past bad decisions hinder your future growth. Accept all your mistakes and learn a lesson from every mistake you commit.
  • There are many people who have suffered from some kind of abuse in their lives. Indeed it’s tormenting to go through an emotional abuse.
  • If you think you should have apposed the oppressor in the past then its better late than never. Never endure ay kind of abuse no matter in which form it is targeted on you.
  • Have you missed any opportunities in the past and didn’t give your best effort? I am sure it hurts and sometimes we do curse ourselves for not utilizing an opportunity in the best possible way.
  • I have noticed many people discussing about their past regrets and blaming themselves. This way they become a victim of depression but they are also obliterating their present and the future.
  • Many times I have seen people blaming their cultural or family background for not being successful in their lives. I know the family values and guidance counts a lot in shaping an individual. But after a while it’s our actions and decisions that can either “make us” or “break us”.
  • Therefore, it’s alright if you have not received the required assistance in the past. You can now be “self-motivated” and excel in your life. It’s quite fulfilling to be “On Your Own”